Whenever You Pretend
by Dih.Lx.Pt
Summary: Inspired on C. Dickens "Great Expectations", but just in part. The title came from the song "Pretend" sang by Nat King Cole. {Luisa is an orphan from Lisbon with one act of kindness she changes everything and exile gives her a new hope.} [Connor/OC-After Game(mostly)]
1. Chapter 1 - Begin Again

_I'm way too anxious about this, English is my second language so any error you may find please report it so I may improve. And... writing a story with other people's characters is always scary and I will try and respect those that aren't mine (Connor will come up on the next chapter). Since this is an AC fic I tried to integrate as much as I could of Lisbon's history of that time, bad idea because it was an exciting era and there were too many great details for a fandom that has nothing to do with it. Still if you read this chapter you'll get a small taste of it. Enjoy._

**Chapter One – Begin Again**

It was Christmas day and everywhere in Lisbon the smell of food and happiness filled every street of those lucky enough to have enough to celebrate; it had been ten years since the great earthquake made the great commercial city fall to pieces small enough to fit in your pockets and she was slowly recovering her former glory. But the ruins were still a presence too big to ignore, the memory of the disaster still hunted everyone's nightmares and today everyone made their best to forget the empty chairs and empty streets while new, better, safer ones where being rebuilt in their place. In her dark places, barely standing, Lisbon hid the less fortunate who didn't had enough, she hid them for authorities eager to arrest, torture and kill those who did bad to hope for good and in her ruins she welcomed a new habitant to nurture.

Luisa was born that night, in a convent that hadn't survived the earthquake and was still waiting repair, but in the meantime was abandoned. She was born there under the sanctity the walls still had, and her mother would tell her that over and over, while madness took every other sentence, and mad she had said it again tonight when they hid there again but this time Lisbon couldn't help.

"You were born here, under the grace of these walls Luisa, that grace protects you. This is your sanctuary!" She was five years old and barely remembered anything but those final moments with her mother and the guards taking them, her mother to be executed next week, Luisa to be handed over to a convent, one who was not in ruins and didn't held half the grace the other had.

The nuns where cruel with lessons of souls burning for their sins and witches burned for their demons, demons they claimed her mother had conjured, demons who hunted Luisa still, or so they said. Luisa only knew that she felt alone, so alone that she doubted even demons thought her worthy of their company. After five days she decided that it was better for her to risk her mother's demons with their hot fires outside the convenient walls that the cold hearts of the women inside.

So on the day of her mother's execution she ran away and stumbled through the streets turning to places she wasn't familiar with, stumbling on sick homeless and the dreadful stage, her mother wasn't there yet but people began to gather around Luisa and soon all the streets where blocked by the multitude of bodies eager to see the only spectacle they had. She climbed to a box high enough for her and seeing above the heads she tried to understand what was happening. Too late to look back she saw her mother being dragged to the platform, too late to cover her years she heard the accusations, all lies to her too young ears recognize their truths and remember them, too soon they dropped the blade and she was quick enough to close her eyes.

The world was silent and dark while she stood there not daring to move and when she did the square was empty, and her mother's body lost forever to her. That night she joined the town's orphans, she found another family in them and slowly she forgot her mother and those two last moments where her only clue of the one who had given her life, she called her 'mother' and never learnt her real name.

It was Christmas day again, five years later; the Marquis of Pombal was on everyone's lips with his new streets too grand to ignore. To the orphans it didn't matter, at ten Luisa was small enough to dodge guards easily and old enough to know what would await her if she was caught. She begged what she could and stole what she couldn't like everyone else and together with five other orphans, hiding in an alley they were having their first Christmas feast. They had worked hard at it stealing what the sellers didn't donate; there was a small and dark piece of bread for each of them, an apple and two oranges. The fruit was the work of Tomás, the eldest who claimed the apple for himself while leaving the rest to be split amongst the other four. Luisa got her share and gave one big bite to the delicious bread.

She smelled the orange and when she opened her eyes again she saw, across the street, an older man with the clothing of a sailor tremble in the cold while reaching his empty hand to the indifferent passer by. Her movements stopped, she had learnt that kindness was a deadly weakness when you didn't have parents or siblings to look out for you; but her heart was betraying her, telling her it was Christmas night, her birthday, and she had been born under the grace and even ignoring its meaning she knew the word held hands with being good and so the meaningless echo of her mother's words made her step forward and under the incredulous eyes of her comrades she went to the sailor and shared half her food with him. That moment, that first link she shared with the strange man, changed her whole life even if she didn't know it yet. It was luck that she stumbled on a good, kindhearted man who saw no opportunities in her, luck that he had none at the time and luck that in receiving something he knew to be so precious to the children of the street, he saw in her a child he had lost.

That night she invited him to the secret hideouts of the orphans and gave him shelter, on other nights he followed her and if at first the was weary of him with time he proved himself to her, more than once getting her out of trouble with his bigger stature and he looked out for her, much like a father would.

He told her his story, how he had been a sailor for half his life and how he hadn't seen Lisbon in twenty years, how his ship was attacked by pirates and he joined them, how the pirates were trapped and he escaped by a thin hair. His name was Domingos and he made his sole focus to give her a good life. She smiled incredulously at him when he confessed his wish because she knew the Lisbon of the old and small while he only remembered the Lisbon of the young and strong, no one would give him an honest job and he would never give her an honest life.

But he tried, he tried for days and months until he understood that if it wasn't for Luisa's stealing he would have starved in the city he so dearly called his home, so he began to steal too, but his were big robberies, to houses and with a knife pointed at someone's throat. He used to tell her that at sea they used to say that what lady luck gives lady luck took, and just like lady luck had given her a father it was now threading to take him so Luisa refused to let go when he was caught, refused to leave him when the bars closed on him and she prayed to lady luck on the trial: "Please, please, please don't kill him." And for the crimes committed against the Portuguese crown, he was condemned to exile and had two days to leave the country, never to set foot on any land ruled by D. José I or any of his descendents. She cried and screamed and held on to him until she found herself with him on a ship to England and from there they left again and this time he didn't tell her their destination.

"It's a new place filled with new hope." That's all he told her in the first month of their journey until she gave up and just when the captain told them they were almost there did he sit down with her and asked: "Do you know Brazil?"

"It's in the new land. Is that where we're going? But that's under the king rule, you can't go there, and why did we set sail from London?"

"The place where we're going is on the same land, but a little more to the North, is under the rule of the English king and that's where we'll live."

"Does it have a name?"

"Boston. The city where we'll land and must likely where we'll settle down, I wasn't made for the fields but I must find something honest. I will make a lady out of you Lu dear, an honest lady, and don't you smile at me this place is different. People find a new life here; some of them leave London without a piece of clothing in their name and make their fortunes in the New World. They come back rich!"

"Only we can't go back."

"You can! You can and you will, I'll find you a good and wealthy gentlemen to marry and bring you back. It's your home!"

"But don't they speak a different language?"

"They do, I learned quite a bit of it at sea and you'll learn too, young and healthy, this land was made for you. And even if you never get the hang of it, it doesn't matter, you'll come back, that's your destiny and I will make sure it happens so that you won't have to live the rest of your life in a strange country."

Luisa opened her lips only to close them again, her voice strangled by his enthusiasm, she asked herself _'what if I don't want to go back?'_. She had grown attached to him and couldn't picture a life where she left him so many months away from her, for better or worse he was like a father to her and she was bund to him and his faithful promises.

Lisbon lost meaning as the miles that spread between her and Luisa grew, the town meant hunger, cold and cruelty to her, the inquisition left but the town maintained its legacy, and it still held torture as a mean to a convenient truth, and it still made death its main entertainment. If this land was so much better, held so great promises and if it kept them, Luisa found it hard to find a good enough reason to come back.

She walked aimlessly in the deck as Domingos paid for half of their journey's fee by helping the crew, the wind was cold on her face as the wind rushed the ship forward and as the first shapes of land came to the horizon. With her fading past so far behind her she finally accepted some optimism and began to hope that she wouldn't be hungry again, never cold again, never so hopeless and lonely as in her first ten years of existence.


	2. Chapter 2 - Seven Years Later

_I will try to publish these first chapters as soon as I can since I know how unattractive one chapter can be. I'm sorry if I'm focusing too much on Luisa and Connor is just standing there, but I think it will be more interesting if he slowly opens up to her as I felt he did in the game, he did felt like an award statue at times. One more note, I don't really like "fast romances" that develop too fast, especially in a character like Connor so please be patient with Henrique my "distraction" so that things don't run too fast._

**Chapter Two – Seven Years Later**

Luisa sat on the drawing room reading a book she couldn't remember the story of, even though she had started it an hour ago. The blizzard outside kept getting worse and her heart sank as she realized there was no way she could make it to Catarina's tea party, not that she minded much about her but she did fancy her eldest son, just returned from his studies in London. It had been her father's idea to go and meet the young man, heir to one of the greatest cocoa plantations in Brazil and of course, heir to a great fortune.

"His family has a beautiful palace in Sintra, and a homestead in the North of Portugal where they made some of the finest wine I have ever tasted. Catarina has paintings all over her house of the family's estate, and Henrique is the sole heir." Domingos had said after coming home from checking on his stores in Boston.

"The last time you insisted on me meeting an heir he held so little knowledge of self hygiene that I could barely stand less than three meters away from him." Her stomach twisted at the memory of that dreadful dinner, even if her father was hell bent on finding her a Portuguese husband she wouldn't marry a pig.

"But he was a nice fellow; and must I remind you that there was a time when you didn't smell much better than him."

"You were the one who insisted on me becoming a lady; and I never smelt that bad!"

"Oh you didn't smell yourself on that Christmas night when we met; if I wasn't so hungry I would never had taken food from such dirty hands."

"Says the man who was fresh out of six months at sea."

"Anyway back to Henrique," Domingos said with a smile on his face, "he was homeschooled by a very much English tutor, with a very English method, according to his mother and has just come from a very old English university."

"Catarina better not say that too loud or too often in Boston."

"Oh she does, and isn't much loved for it; she's English to the very bottom of her heart she says, even if she can't speak a word of it and has never set a foot in England."

"So you assure me that he won't smell like the farms he owns?"

"He doesn't own farms! It's a cocoa plantation, and last time I checked you were pretty found of chocolate."

When she met him the next week she was pleasantly surprised, the months spent on a ship filled with cocoa left its pleasant smell on him and the only other things he smelled at were tobacco and soap; but he didn't just smell nice, in fact he had been the first Portuguese _gentlemen_ she met who actually looked like one. The big blue eyes and light brown hair didn't help her in her quest to dismiss any suitor who threatened to take her away from her father.

That night she had to admit to Domingos her admiration for him, leaving him with a big goofy smile on his face. She saw Henrique almost every day since, until his mother announced she was moving back to Portugal. Without Catarina in Boston there were little motives left for her son to come here and because of the snow, Luisa would miss the last tea party held on the residence soon to be sold to another family.

Marking the page she was in, Luisa dropped the book on her bed and as the snow outside became worst another dread took over her. Domingos wasn't home yet and if the snow kept getting worse soon it would be impossible to walk on the streets, if he was in one of the stores there wasn't much to worry about but if he wasn't…

She walked aimlessly around the big house they had moved to just two years ago, she couldn't believe when her father told her it was theirs. In fact since landing in Boston ten years ago Domingos became a bottomless pit of surprises; if he was resourceful in Europe, with the ongoing war in the new world he was a commercial genius, he got a loan from a friend, opened his first general store and made contacts with all sorts of traders, farmers and craftsmen, making sure he had the best in town at the best prices. He used the black market carefully and always with the anticipation of getting into trouble, but he never did. When he paid the loan he opened another store, then another, and another. He bought small houses and establishments for renting and he had begun to try his luck at a corn plantation.

All the time he devoted to his business was time he stole from Luisa, and at the time she didn't respond well to it. He looked for a school as soon as they landed and when he made enough money, hired a tutor- Jane, who later became his wife; and it was she that made Luisa understand that every coin her father gained he spend it on her, her education, her dresses, her jewels that she shared with her new mother, he had made her a lady and Luisa hadn't even notice.

Luisa liked her tutor turned mother well enough, but it wasn't the same relationship she had with Domingos, closer to her own age Jane became more like a friend and Luisa never called her _mother_ except when introducing her, and even then she was her stepmother. Jane was gone for two months now, her father, living in the frontier, was sick and in need of her and Domingos painfully let her go.

"The old man needs her the most now, not that he ever held any sympathy for his daughter, but who am I to say anything." Those were the only words spoken about it between him and Luisa.

She heard the bell of the nearby church and panicked at realizing in was eight o'clock and her father wasn't home yet, she thanked the cook for not reminding her that dinner time had passed but it was impossible not to worry and at this point she went to the kitchen window, the best view to the beginning of the road leading to town. A few minutes later Bo, the cook joined her, the old lady being concerned too, though more with Luisa who was beginning too look pale and lightheaded.

Luckily they didn't had to wait long, a small figure came into view a few minutes later but as it came closer and distinguishable in between the falling snow Luisa's relief vanished when she realized the figure was in fact a strange man carrying her father in his arms. She raced to the door to open it for the stranger and she couldn't put words out of her mouth as she saw Domingos unconscious, blue from the cold but still breathing. Bo was the one taking charge, leading the stranger to the living room, putting the old man in a chair by the fire, changing his clothes and wrapping him in all the blankets they could find in the house. All the time Luisa stood in silent, frozen by fear, her heart going back seven years and remembering the prayer she repeated over and over again when she saw her only family being dragged away by the guards.

"Lu, the weather is getting worse." Bo said from the fireplace as she checked on Domingos, slowly turning into a healthier color. Luisa looked outside, coming out of her daze, the snow had turned into a white wave coming from all directions and the strong wind howled all over the house.

"Yes, but he's safe now."

"You father is dear, but I'm afraid the young man won't be able to leave." Luisa's cheeks reddened as she realized she had completely ignored her father's savior, hadn't even acknowledged him and given him a proper welcome, didn't even know his name. Suddenly she was almost relieved her father as unconscious or she would never hear the end of it.

"Where is he?"

"In the kitchen, I gave him some hot chocolate, I hope you don't mind. I know it's expensive."

"No, of course not. I'll go and thank him, will you look after father?"

"Yes, should I prepare the guest's room?"

"When he's out of danger." Luisa said mentioning Domingos still trembling in the chair.

"Of course child."

"And please don't tell him-"

"That you forgot everything he and Jane taught you? Don't worry." Bo laughed, she had kept secrets for Luisa for seven years now, and she was a saint compared to the little devil she had first met.

"Thank you."

She held her father's hand before going to the kitchen making sure it was warming up, kissed his forehead and left, praying the stranger would understand why she had been so rude. But seeing her father at the doors of death again was a fear that never really left her.

The stranger sitting by the kitchen's fire held the jar with the cocoa grains on one hand and the cup with the hot chocolate on the other smelling both with amazement.

"A friend of ours gave it to us; he claims his family has a secret for giving the cocoa that taste, it's the best I've ever had but I'm sure the secret is the land it's planted on." He stood up and turned to her and she was amazed by him, not only his gigantic structure but that natives weren't known to help rich European traders, yet there he was, her father's savior with his copper skin, face paint and weird hair-do. She smiled, glad to see him, glad he had taken her father home despise what his kind had suffered on the hands of hers. "My name's Luisa, Lu if you find it hard to pronounce."

"Ratonhnhaké:ton. Or Connor." Of course, natives didn't spoke English as their mother tongue either, she laughed a little and held her hands to him, noticing the puzzled look he gave them, she took the jar from his left hand, putting in on the table and with her two hands embraced his.

"Thank you. A thousand times, thank you for bringing my father home."

"You're welcome." She chose to ignore his awkwardness and the edge on his voice; she had to do this properly for all the money her father invested on her education.

"I'm sorry for my coldness earlier, I hope you understand… seeing him like that… I panicked." She let go of him and gave him back the jar. "This is yours, along with all the hospitably this house has to offer and a room is already being prepared for you to stay the night." She saw him open his mouth with a refusal in his lips and added before he could answer: "I advise you to look outside before refusing."

He did and she saw the expression on his face change as he acknowledged there was no way to cross that storm and survive.

"Thank you."

"I'll ask Bo to serve dinner for us; in the meantime I must go see my father. You're welcome to join us."

"I'll just stay here."

"Let me rephrase that. It would be my pleasure if you would join us… please." He looked oddly at her and she turned around, stopping at the door to look back and smile when she saw him following her, the empty cup left on the table and bringing the jar with him.

Bo left when they entered the room, Luisa gave her the instructions to prepare a simple dinner and serve it on the kitchen for the three of them, and being sure that Connor wouldn't mind the lack of etiquette that was the norm they were used to. When Bo was gone Luisa kneeled by her father's side, leaving the other chair by the fireplace for Connor. Her skirts spread around her she could barely remove her eyes from the frail figure of Domingos, wrapped in blankets and still a little too cold for comfort. She could feel the awkwardness coming from her guest as well as some old part of her that became exasperated that he couldn't manage to even pretend that he was comfortable and felt welcomed, she didn't know what else to do, her father's condition a much too great concern in her mind to let her properly think of anything else.

She turned to Connor and smiled, trying to smile like Jane did when visitors came, but apparently failing since her smile wasn't answered by him, who simply stared at her.

"Where did you find him?"

"I didn't find him. We were discussing some trouble with a delivery when the weather got worse, he insisted on coming home so I decided to accompany him. The storm got worse too fast and he wasn't properly dressed."

"So you're one of his traders?"

"Something like that."

"How did you know where we live?"

"He invited be over a few weeks ago. You weren't around." He added when she looked at him surprised, her father never brought work into their home, it was the one rule he didn't break.

"Obviously." She was wounded that her father would have kept from her that he had guests when she wasn't around, it was bad enough to know he had a completely separate life when managing his business that didn't involve her, to know he kept a social life too…

"I spoke too much." She was brought back by his remark and looking better at him she wondered if her father held some sympathy towards Connor, seeing he even invited him to his home, but if they were friends it didn't make sense that he wouldn't have introduced them.

"No, not at all. How old are you Connor?" She asked remembering an incident six years ago, when she made her first friend of the colonies. It didn't matter if it was rude for her to ask, but if her father had kept him a secret from her for the reasons she thought he did Domingos had some serious explaining to do once he got better.

"Twenty-six." Old enough to run his own business and young enough to be a suitor, Luisa had to take a deep breath to keep the rage she was feeling inside. She thought her father was over this, her father completely blocking any sort of connections from her that weren't Portuguese, which involved not only friends and business partners, but especially young single men who posed a possible love interest to her. Even six years ago when she barely even knew what love was, he forbade her friendship with the son of their neighbors, coming to the point of looking for another house across the river for them to live in.

If it had been ridiculous then, it was even worse now when she was dating a young and wealthy Portuguese heir, just like her father whished she would. If only he would wake up, she had a serious argument to have with him.

"Dinner is set." Bo was standing by the doorway and Luisa stood up, followed by Connor who left his jar in the chair and the three of them sat for dinner, with Luisa and Bo agreeing to take turns to check on Domingos to which Connor volunteered too.

It was a strange dinner, Luisa and Bo felt awkward for not knowing if they should act as the friends they were or as servant and lady, Connor felt awkward too they could both feel it, even if they weren't sure what for. So they both ate quietly, until they heard stirring from the living room and Luisa stood up and ran to her fathers side. He was awake, and struggling, confused, with the blankets.

"Father…"

"Lu… you're here." He managed to release a hand and grabbed her's. Bo came in with Connor behind, both with worried looks on their faces.

"We were so worried about you!"

"I'm sorry Lu…but…I really didn't want to spend this blizzard away from you. I was worried too."

"We should take him to his room." Bo interrupted them, taking the blankets away from Domingos and feeling his temperature. "Connor will you help?"

"Connor…?" The old man looked shocked as the younger raised him again to take him upstairs.

"He brought you home, almost frozen to death when you got here."

"You gave him food and shelter?" Luisa stumbled on her dress and her cheeks turned red again with her father staring knowingly at her.

"Your daughter was very kind."

"I'm glad to know it." He said as Connor laid him gently on his bed and Luisa and Bo ran to put him inside the covers. Luisa reached for her fathers hand with Connor standing beside her while Bo quietly left the room. "I know you're worried Lu, my dear, but I really must speak with Connor in private."

"Its fine father, sleep well."

"You too."

When she left the room her former rage came back, she hated that Domingos held secrets from her, she hated that she felt like a wall was standing between them and worst of all she felt like he was pushing her away. She waited, sitting on the stairs while she heard the hushed tones coming from her father's room, she couldn't make out what they were saying, only that there was worry in both of their voices and worry on her soul. Something was wrong, her father was in trouble again and she knew nothing about it. About half an hour later Connor walked out silently, closing the door behind him and Luisa stood to face him.

"Will you need anything else?" She was sure even he could sense the coldness in her voice but she was much too tired to care.

"No, thank you."

"Then I'll leave you to your things, your room is here," she opened the door to the left of her father's "the one at the end of the hall is mine, knock if you need anything."

He nodded and she left to her room, Bo already waiting to help her out of her clothes.


	3. Chapter 3 - When The City Clears

_I just want so say thank you to __**Heart-Good and Evil**__ and __**CarlyO'Brien**__ for the feedback, and all the other silent readers that, I hope, are enjoying this little drabble of mine. _

_I thought it was better not to put more than the strictly necessary Portuguese words since it would probably be too confusing but please assume that anytime Luisa is talking with her father or Henrique they are speaking in Portuguese. Bo's voice will be more present since she's Luisa's guardian angel and again sorry for Connor's "absence", I'm picking the perfect time to put him forward and I'm afraid he'll skip this chapter again._

_The chapter's name came from the song Winter Winds by Mumford & Sons, which I like to think described the importance of this two last chapters, especially from Connor's perspective, but I never really know what is going on on the character's heads, even when I'm writing them, they are always on the mirror's edge and just out of my reach. _

**Chapter Three – When The City Clears And The Sun Ascends**

Luisa woke up with the white light of the winter sun coming in from the windows, Bo had obviously been in the room, the fire had been re-lit, her favorite emerald green dress was on a chair ready to be put on and the smell of breakfast filled the room. She got up and when to the small table near the window where she wrote her letters and currently held her breakfast. Bo came in a few minutes later and the ritual of getting dressed started and even if Luisa loved the bright colors and big skirts she hated the fact that these clothes were impossible to dress on your own; they were too heavy, the corset was impossible to tie in the back and once that was done she could barely move enough to put on her bonnet when she left the house.

"How's our guest." She asked between the pulls and twists of Bo's hands.

"He was up before the sun rose; Jack found him downstairs and gave him some bread. He had some errands from your father and said he would be back later." Jack was the Jack of all trades in the house, no one knew if that was his real name or not and no one really cared since he was honest and always greeted every one of them with a smile.

"Make sure he doesn't forget the cocoa." She heard Bo laugh behind her and the last nights doubts crept over again.

"A messenger came, said Henrique would stop by before setting sail. I think he likes you." Bo said with her hands on Luisa's shoulders and laughed again when she felt them warming up under her hands when she mentioned the young man. "That's why I took the liberty of picking this dress." She said picking it up.

"Thank you."

"But you won't need color on your cheeks if you keep on blushing like that."

"Bo…"

"Connor was nice too..." Bo said ignoring her.

"He wasn't father approved."

"…and he isn't leaving today for the other side of the Atlantic."

"He's a native."

"And…?"

"And if anyone saw me near him all of father's hard work and money will go down the drain, I owe him a good marriage."

"He wants you to be happy."

"And I am Bo, every day and every hour I'm not begging on the streets alone and helpless, I'm happy. My father and Jane are my happiness and it's my vow to give them happiness in return."

"And the only way a girl can do that is by marriage." Bo said not hiding the sarcasm in her voice.

"By a right marriage Bo, it has to be the right one. Besides… I fancy Henrique… and not much to say about Connor." Bo smiled when she finished Luisa's hair and she turned to her. "Now I must go and see my father. Really Bo, he's more than enough the matchmaker I need, don't join him, especially if you're going to push on the opposite direction." This time Luisa was the one smiling when Bo laughed and gave her a small peck on the cheek before leaving the room.

Bo's smile faded when Luisa left the room, she was sad for she had seen the three of them sitting on the living room the previous night and her heart stopped with the realization of how right the picture looked, but she couldn't explain to Luisa the senses of her culture, the sight that saw the links between souls, ignoring their status and prejudices. If Luisa had been her daughter Bo would explain it to her, but she wasn't, she was her lady and she would leave her as soon as she was married, and Bo felt she was the foolish one for trying to push her over boundaries that were too deep, too well defined to ignore; and to be fair she hadn't even met Henrique.

On the other side of the house Luisa entered her father's room after a soft knock on the door. He was already up, taking is breakfast wrapped in covers in front of the fire.

"What a lovely dress Lu."

"Henrique is coming over." She said kneeling beside him, laying her head on his knees like she did since she was ten years old.

"So I heard."

"Do you think he'll come back someday, or is he just coming to say a final goodbye?"

"Oh, I know what I think, but my thinking doesn't change much and the future has a whole thinking of its own and I don't do much thinking about what destiny is thinking."

"I didn't get half of that."

"You weren't supposed to, dear." Domingos said with a warm laugh that brought a dry cough that made Luisa stand to try and help him, worried again by his frail state. "It's fine… I'm fine Lu."

"You won't leave today, will you?"

"Oh no, I asked Jack to call a doctor, I know that forcing myself will only prolong my misery."

"You aren't just saying that to me, are you?" Luisa frowned at his silence and decided to give a small warning to Bo so she would look out for any misbehaving.

"Will Henrique come by after lunch?"

"I don't know, the messenger said before the ship sets sail."

"Bring him here once he comes, I whish to speak to him."

"Another secret talk." This time Domingos looked at her with worry in his eyes, hearing the edge on his daughter's voice.

"What are you implying?"

"Only that you seem to keep many secrets lately. Private talks with strangers that come around the house when neither I nor Jane is around, friends that I don't know about and troubles that you don't tell me!"

"It's not secrets… my relationship with Connor is strictly professional, I brought him here because it's the only place I feel like I have some privacy. It's a delicate business that will bring us great riches if succeeded but it must be kept secret, not from you, but from other traders in Boston."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"To keep you safe, Boston traders can be very… barbaric when it comes to getting answers."

"I wouldn't tell."

"I know Lu, but the best way to convince them that you know nothing is if you actually know _nothing_."

"Not even Connor."

"That was my intention, yes. Not being able to link the two of you would have made thinks a lot easier."

"It has nothing to do with him being a native?" She said with sarcasm.

"Well he's not a _native_ his father was English."

"Oh then we _must _introduce him to Catarina!"

"Lu, be serious! Native or not you two must not be seen together, if admitting that his skin is a factor will keep you away then I'll do it because he's dangerous and you must focus on your education and on finding a good husband that will take care of you." Luisa heard the danger of pursuing this matter on her father's voice, but it was too late, she was much too angry to ignore the opportunity to provoke him, her one true weakness: she loved to see people out of their comfort zone; and when you're angry keeping your dark side under control is near impossible.

"So you're implying that Connor is unable to take care of me?" She had gone to far, Domingos face turned red as his hand hit the chair and made Luisa stand, suddenly scared.

"God forbid Luisa of you even thinking of that man in those terms! He's not for you! I'd rather die than seeing you turn away all that I worked so hard to get you by marrying an American commoner, a savage! I raised you too well for that! You're too beautiful for that!" He was interrupted by a knock on the door and by then Luisa had backed away almost all the way to the wall, never having seen her father like that or saying such cruel words. "Come in! You may leave Luisa."

She opened the door and her heart froze as she stumbled into Connor on the other side of it, burning red with embarrassment she mumbled an apology and ran to the kitchen straight into Bo's arms, not really crying but trembling with the shock of seeing her father so enraged and wondering just how much did Connor hear since by the end of it her father was already screaming his words at her.

"Don't worry child, your father had a terrible experience yesterday, his body is still recovering… his mind is not in its right place." Bo said to Luisa while moving her hand in smooth circles on her back to relax her.

"Do you think he heard?" Luisa didn't need to specify who she was talking about and Bo answered her with a frown.

"I'm afraid the whole house heard it."

"Then why did he knock? How come he didn't left after what he just heard his partner say?" Bo looked into her eyes and was amazed to find in them, amongst the fear, curiosity.

"Because he's a good man and decided to interrupt your father before he said anything else that he might regret."

"How do you know?"

"Because that's what I would have done if I saw a sick man on a wild rampage."

"So he won't hold my father's words against him?"

"And neither should you." Those words comforted Luisa and Bo felt her muscles relax under her hands, she hoped in the bottom of her heart she hadn't misjudged the young man, but she knew that after a whole life of insults you learnt to build a wall around you against them. She was more worried about Luisa, Domingos' sweet child suddenly coming to face his demons, the rough man of the sea. Bo had seen him in the last month when he was alone with his troubles on the house. Something was changing, as she only hoped Luisa would come out of it in one piece and she prayed every night for the strength to protect her.

At that time there was a knock on the door and after making sure Luisa was perfect she went to open the door while silently telling her to sit by the fire on the living room. It didn't take much to know who was at the door and she formally introduced Henrique, proud of how Luisa managed to hide away her worry and presented herself with a perfect posture and a perfect smile, the only thing she really needed to add to her dark brown hair and green eyes that turned into a deep emerald color with the reflections from the fire, perfectly matching her dress. Her smile turned larger as she left the room and noticed she forgot to put on the rice dust to hide the tan Luisa had gained over the years spent under the Portuguese sun that never really faded, a constant source of embarrassment for Luisa and a delight for Bo who hated the pale sickly skin of the European ladies.

Luisa did her best to be warm and a good company but she couldn't help breaking her act a little when Henrique asked to see her father, she told him about the previous night and that he had to receive him in his own room and when he showed no reservations about it she felt a shiver in her spine when she thought about going upstairs again. She stood up and asked Henrique to follow her and every step she took upstairs she got more nervous and had to take a deep breath before she knocked on the door, taking the absence of sound from the room as a good sign.

"Come in."

"Henrique is here." She said opening the door seeing her father and Connor bending over some papers which her father hid before telling her to enter.

"Welcome to our home Henrique. Lu, bring Connor downstairs and tell Bo to prepare a good meal for him as well as a good portion of food for his journey."

"Yes father." She avoided his eyes, and Connor's too as she left and waited for him to follow her and once downstairs she gave the instructions to Bo, not really knowing what else to say, she let silence take over the kitchen.

"Here's your food," said Bo putting the meal in front of Connor, "and this is for the journey," she brought a small basket filled to the top and covered with a cloth to the table with a smile on her face hearing Luisa in the back ground suppressing a laugh as she imagined Connor with his serious face and gigantic physic carrying the basket around. "I must go now or I'll never find a good piece of meat from the market. I'll be back in time for lunch, don't worry Lu."

Luisa waited until Bo left to face Connor, barely keeping the laugher as it threatened to come out of her, again.

"You can leave the basket, I'm sure she'll understand."

Connor took the cloth and putting the contents of the basket on the center of it, tied the ends together, easily tucking it away in one of his satchels.

"Thank you."

"I lost count of how many times you thanked me in the last twenty-four hours and barely said anything else." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she covered it with her hands, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." He was looking weirdly at her, the best word Lucia could come up with to describe it was… surprised? Mixed with some amusement?! What was wrong with her today? She was edgy and all too keen to come up with rude answers and accusations. There was a lot happening in such a short time she just wished she could hide in her bed for a week and wait for all of it to go away. It didn't help that he wouldn't take his eyes off of her and it got under her skin because it felt like e was judging her.

"I'm sorry… about earlier."

"Why?" He _was _judging her, he knew, she could tell he knew what she was talking about and still asked her so she would have to say. Mad as she was, she knew he had every right to ask.

"Because I taunted my father, knowing he was fragile and it made him say some things he will regret once he recovers."

"I doubt he will ever regret protecting his daughter as much as he can. If calling me a savage will keep you away from danger than he would do it, wasn't that what he said?"

"How much did you hear?!"

"Enough to know I should keep away from you."

"And scare me?!"

"If that's what it takes. Your father was right to worry." He finished the meal and now she was the one staring, not really believing what he was saying and that he was the same quiet man from last night, who was now almost making direct threats to her and implying a deeper knowledge about Domingos, deeper than hers. "I know your father for longer than you might think." Those were the last words he had a chance to say as hurried footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and Henrique showed up at the kitchen door with a beaming smile on his face.

"Come with me." He said in Portuguese taking her hands and leading her to the living room, not loosing time in getting down on one knee and almost bringing Luisa with him since she felt her own knees turning into jelly. "Luisa, with my promise to come to Boston as often as I can and to be devoted to your beauty and kind spirit, will you give me your hand, and be my wife?"

She froze, almost laughing as she remembered that just moments before she asked for some quietness and all of the sudden life was taking another turn and she was barely able to keep up with it. She looked at Henrique, all her father ever wanted for her, all she had promised never to accept and yet she found him so hard to refuse knowing how happy her father would be.

"Lu dear, he has a ship to get on to." She turned to the door seeing her father at the doorway with Connor standing behind him, his face a blank expression, much like a statue.

"Father you shouldn't be up!"

"I wouldn't miss this moment for anything in this earth." Domingos said with a smile, after which she raised her eyes, meeting Connor's, and saw how unsynchronized they were with his face, there was nothing blank or indifferent in them, she saw a fire inside them, hidden, carefully controlled much like her own, but his was darker. She saw the shades of dark memories she had left behind her in Lisbon, he had the eyes of the orphans she coldly forgot, the eyes of the prisoners forgotten in the gallows, of poets arrested for their liberty of thinking. She saw the danger, but instead of fear, she felt a strange attraction towards that fire, much like a moth does to a candle.

She knew she stared too long at him and turned to Henrique, suddenly disappointed of his eyes for they held no fire, no pain, no freedom, only an existence too easy to give him any interest. The quiet she needed so much, so she smiled and said, "I will," hearing his laugher and her father's, feeling herself being lifted in his arms.

When Luisa looked at the door again her smile faded a little, Connor was gone.


	4. Chapter 4 - You Better Go Now

_I've just read the first three chapter and must apologize for some mistakes, some of them bad enough for me to be ashamed of them, I will have to revise the story once it's finish, but for now I can't wait to get this out of me. I feel terrible about that._

_A big thank you to __**lilalover**__, __**nekykychan**__ and my "__**guest**__" who left me a beautiful review and a brownie (delicious by the way), I'm afraid Luisa will be wrong, and will be making wrong choices all the way through this story, that's the little piece of me I gave to this character._

_Since I'm terrible with tittles all of mine come from songs that somehow fit where I want the story to go. You Better Go Now is a beautiful melody played by Chet Baker._

**Chapter Four – You Better Go Now**

Luisa sat in one of the last rows of the church's benches as she waited for Jane to finish her prayers, not one for prayer herself she came never the less for the warmth the colonial churches had, made of wood and simply decorated they looked much more familiar than the big stone temples she remembered from Lisbon. What she loved the most was that, while in Lisbon the prayers seemed to fade and age the temples; here the prayers often came with small tokens of gratitude that made the churches newer and better. Luisa never prayed but in times of trouble, and even then she barely knew to whom she was praying to, and always feeling like her voice was too small to reach such heights.

A cloud moved away from the sun and his light came trough the colored windows, giving a new color to the long hall, and Luisa allowed herself a brief smile, the words "under the grace" on the tips of her lips, that's how she felt then. Jane was praying for a son, and Luisa prayed too, it would be easier to part from Domingos knowing he had another child to look after him once she was married and shipped to Portugal. A frown crept over her face, for the first time feeling like she was a hindrance in her father's life, Jane would never say it, but didn't had too, Luisa would still be loved, but more so if she lived in another house with children of her own, and the frown became deeper.

It had been two months since Henrique left and the correspondence took ages to cross the shores, even from Brazil it could take months before any letter reached her hands, he would come back in a year and they would be married in Boston so her father could be present. A year and she would be married, a year to say goodbye to her current life she loved so dearly and would never leave if not for feeling like an extra leg in a chair. A cloud covered the sun again and Jane stood up, the prayer was over and it was time to go home.

Just as they were coming out of the church into the busy street a small boy ran into Luisa, said an apology and ran away with a smile, before realizing the small bag he was holding was empty and turned around with a frown. Luisa smiled at him and showed him a coin which she tossed away so that Jane wouldn't notice; the boy ran to where the coin had fallen and ran again away from sight. The whole scene brought a smile to Luisa's lips as she remembered old days, it was in memory of those days that she kept the little bag, where ladies usually kept their values, empty so that the small thieves would turn at her and she got a chance to give them the money personally, their eyes being the only portrait she had of herself in those days. The trick was in doing her small performance without Jane, or any of her high society friends, notice since it was usually taken as a_ low_ gesture unbefitting a lady.

They got home just before tea time, both of them would be entertaining a much too big group of friends today and Jane was delighted to be back in time to make everything perfect. Luisa was much too distracted by a package left for her at the door, she had to keep herself from showing to much enthusiasm about it but opened it as fast as manners and her hands allowed her. A copy of John Cleland's _Fanny Hill_ was in her hands and she quickly covered it again and dodging a knowing glance from Bo, who didn't need to know how to read to know Luisa wasn't supposed to have that book, and ran to her room eager to start reading it. Just the pains it took her to get a copy were enough to make the book an exiting event, published secretly; it had been dodging her hands for months.

She read it until she started hearing voices downstairs and hid it under her bedside table before coming down. The book had kept her for longer than she had noticed since by the time she got downstairs the living room was filled with skirts, round fingers enlacing cups and powdered wigs filled the room with a fine dusk that turned everything slightly whiter than it should be.

"Here is our young soon to be bride; I swear dear that that engagement made you prettier than any girl in Boston," said her friend's mother eying her daughter by the corner, still single and not making much to change it. Luisa heard a few more vain compliments before joining Johanna, her very best friend, Jo, who waited patiently for her to get through the judgment of the elder women.

"Did you get it?" Were her first words as soon as Luisa got to her, a wicked smile on her lips.

"It came today, I don't know how I'll e able to read it, and I think Bo knows."

"She wouldn't turn you in."

"But she's not happy about it." As silently and carefully as they could, both friends slowly left the room and headed to the back yard looking for more privacy.

"My brother finally came up with something." Luisa froze as Jo said those words once safely far from the house, it had been weeks since she decided to tell her about Connor, hoping that her brother, a promising lawyer apprentice would find some useful information about him since her father refused to even mention his name and Connor himself had disappeared. Luisa had almost lost hope of getting any information about her father's strange partner and now her heart beat faster; Jo's concerned look didn't help. "We're not sure this is him, but he found a Connor in the records, son of a native woman and an English man named Haytham Kenway. Both of them dead in strange circumstances, especially his father who according to my brother was neck deep in conspiracies by the time he was killed."

"Go on," Luisa said after a small silence from her friend.

"I don't know where to start; my brother found nothing more in the archives, which is strange, stranger still when he found out why. Now you mustn't tell this to no one, it was told to my brother under secrecy and a lot of trouble could go down if anyone found out about by brother asking questions about irregularities in records so recent, more so because the case has Washington's name all over it. What he heard was that this Connor made a lot a favors to W and in repayment got away with murder, quite literally, there were even whispers, as my brother calls his informants, that he was the one who killed his own father. No one really knows where he lives, who he is or why W protects him, although everyone agreed that they're no longer on speaking terms, he vanished in this last year, wounded and apparently many think him dead. Lu I don't know what your father's business with him is but he's not joking when he says C's dangerous."

Luisa stared at the floor, barely believing a word, she knew her father had made bad partners before and he often traded on the lines of danger but she couldn't associate the man saving her father with Jo's description, she made him sound like a demon from a horror story and Washington like a tyrant. She knew the later was not true, but she had asked for information to find some humanity, some frail link with human kind and Connor.

"Lu you're my dearest friend and you might have thought to see some common ground between the two of you, but I assure you he's not an orphan like you, life made a monster out of him, he kills coldly and silently according to the whispers and you should keep your distance."

"Of course."

"No, no I'm sorry that won't do. I want you to promise me that you won't look for him and if by chance you stumble upon him, you cross the street and walk in the opposite direction!" Jo felt a shiver as her friends eyes locked hers, she was the only one to whom Luisa had told her story and sometimes it was easy to forget how wild her nature was, but when her eyes turned into a dark green anticipating some exciting event Jo felt uneasy, and now was no different, if anything it was worse, this time Luisa wasn't chasing adventure or a forbidden book. What scared Jo the most was that she saw that same acknowledgment in her friend's eyes, Luisa knew she was stumbling into a battle field and she wanted it, even if she didn't know it yet.

"I need to make sure my father is safe."

"Your father was never safe Lu, please, promise me this small thing."

"I promise I won't look for him, anything else would be a lie."

"You're dummier than a door; just make sure you send me the details of your funeral plans."

Luisa laughed and it didn't take much for Jo to do so too, they both head back inside the house and were glad to notice their absence had not been noticed. Bo, serving the small cakes and tea, stole glances to Luisa, wondering where her puzzled looks came from, something to do with the package she had received, she was sure; but a small voice told her that since becoming engaged she hadn't been quite the same.

Later that night as Bo left the bedroom with her clothes, Luisa got out of the bed to pull the curtains aside and let the moonlight in, she hated the darkness of night and always welcomed the little light she could let in. She looked at the building of the neighboring houses and felt lost, she wanted to stay, look after Domingos and Bo, discuss the latest gossip, books and news with Jo and above all the wanted to know more about Connor, an uneasiness crept over her when he came to her thoughts, she had to worry, and the more danger people associated with him the more her worry grew and her inability to do something, her lack of information was desperate.

A shadow moved and she focused on the roof tops again, the moon wasn't full and darkness made it hard to see in the distance but she made out the figure in the opposite roof of her window, not that far away. Facing her, she was sure, was Connor, "he kills coldly and silently", Jo's words sent a sharp and cold shiver down her spine and she closed the curtains and went back to bed, trembling, too sure that he wasn't only facing her, he was _watching_.

The next days didn't give Luisa enough time to think much on what her next step would be, Jane was busy redecorating the living room and claimed her stepdaughter's presence on every decision. They visited every seller in Boston, every merchant in town and then turned back and revisited all over again, comparing prices, expecting to see something new they missed before. Luisa got home tired, with her feet aching, her mind exhausted and her book forgotten underneath the bedside table.

When all the shopping was done Luisa was requested to stay home and help as they emptied the living room and waited for the new items to arrive. She wasn't even allowed to go to her room and even if inside the house Luisa still got tired and so bored her body began to lose energy and she couldn't find much stamina to do anything.

When the living room was finally ready Jane wanted to introduce it to the society and again Luisa's life was filled with Domingo's respectable partners coming to dinner with their wives and offspring, with Jane's friends coming for tea, most of them leaving their daughters behind and only once did Luisa got a chance to talk to Jo who reminded her of her promise and was disappointed in finding her friends advancements in the book close to none.

A month passed and a new dinner was being prepared, no, not a dinner, a party, the largest they've organized, with all of the family's friends, all the important traders, even those who openly raced against Domingos, all the city's important names and even a few from the frontier and New York. All the silver was cleaned, the whole house cleaned from top to bottom and new dresses were made for Luisa and Jane, with shoes to combine. Everything was turned upside down, even Luisa.

Jane was pregnant.

The night came and the house was filled with people Luisa didn't recognize and was amazed to see Jane and Domingos greet each of them by name while she stood silently beside them smiling like a porcelain doll, completely oblivious to the reason all those strangers had to come to their home, lingering on every tile, some of them even making fun of some of the decoration and so many of them more interested in the food and drinks while Jane was left with a few truly happy friends who were delighted with the news.

Luisa walked amongst the guests like a ghost, smiling when she found a known face and trying to find a quiet place to get a small moment of peace. A not so strange feeling crept into her heart, something she hadn't felt in years, ever since Domingos came into her life. She was lonely, it didn't help that Jo had caught a sudden fever and had to stay at home, and with a new baby coming she was expected to leave.

Faces passed her by and she ignored most, lost in a daze and ignored by those who no longer saw her as Domingos daughter, for the cruel truth was that he had never formally adopted her and she had no right to call him father or call hers his home and family. Not by law anyway. Surrounded by the mass of bodies trading air for heat Luisa felt lightheaded and barely noticed when a hand held hers and lead her outside where she welcomed the fresh air and sat on the steps as her knees gave in.

Luisa looked up and lost her breath as she faced Connor, in fancy attire that looked odd in his half native features, but also strangely natural for his proud posture that gave the clothes the importance and authority that if failed to provide to the lazy men inside dressed in similar fashion. She was suddenly glad Jo wasn't there. He stares back at her, both silent and Luisa suddenly aware of the lack of clothing the dress provided to her shoulders and breast and the cold embraced them and sent shivers down her spine.

"I thought you were supposed to stay away from me." She finally asked.

"The negotiations were concluded. Your father is a wealthy man."

"He's not my father, not really." Luisa saw the puzzled look on Connor's eyes and wondered about what Jo had said a month before. "You haven't heard? Suddenly everyone noticed Domingos didn't _legally_ adopt me."

"Is that so important?"

"Its importance increases with his wealth."

"What about your fiancé?"

"What about him? He's rich enough to ignore my father's economy balance and marry me as the beautiful daughter of and influential man whom he loves. He has the luxury of only depending on my father's good will and not his money."

"But does he know?"

"I don't know. I guess he's too far away to care."

With her strength gathered again, Luisa stood up to face Connor who stared blankly ahead, clearly puzzled about something. Not really knowing if he had grown with his mother or with his father she had no way of knowing how foreign her costumes were to him. She secretly hoped he had grown with better values than the guests inside and wouldn't judge her as unfairly.

"Why did you lead me here?"

"Bo said you needed fresh air."

"How come you were invited? No offense, but last time my father was keen on keeping you a secret."

"The invitation was made to my homestead, I'm here as a land owner and not a business partner."

"Your homestead?"

"Davenport."

"The name sounds familiar."

"Most of its inhabitants trade with your father."

"But not you."

"Not officially."

"It sounds like nothing is official about you." He looked puzzled at her at first, before an odd look came to his eyes and he turned, giving a few steps forward making his face unclear in the darkness, and with her friends forewarning that he had been severely wounded she took special attention to his walking and a shiver went down her spine as she saw him limp, so clearly she was surprised she hadn't noticed it before.

"A young man has been asking question about me, a man who's brother to a close friend of yours."

_Life made a monster out of him, he kills coldly and silently. _The echo of her friends words filled her mind as she froze, not knowing how to respond without triggering some dark part of Connor that she had been warned against.

"If he was answering to a worried daughter then he is harmless enough, if not-"

"I asked him to." She interrupted him afraid of the next words, suddenly feeling hot in the cold night air, her heart beating fast and her hands trembling. Luisa saw him turn, a different shade in his eyes, defiance and a warning clear to read in them. He looked at her hands, trembling inside her gloves and with amazement saw that he put his hands around hers, as if he thought she was cold, and not scared.

"I'm relieved." It hit her then that he was mimicking her, when she thanked him for bringing her father home safe, he held her hands the exact same way, and gave them the small pull she had too. "What did he tell you? No harm will come to him, I assure you."

"That you are an orphan," he nodded,"that you were wounded and thought dead," his expression froze, "and that you were dangerous."

"How dangerous?" Luisa waited before answering; wanting to be sure there was no better way to say her next words.

"That you had _protection_ and that allows you to… kill without punishment."

Luisa waited as Connor remained silent, praying to whomever was listening that he would deny it, with her hands forgotten in his she felt his warmth, the empathy of her soul for his, the way her heart raced with the excitement of the rules broken just by being near to him. She would accept everything but that he was a murderer and this country allowed him to be so without punishment, the memory of how her mother was taken from her wouldn't allow it. She strongly believed death should never be in the hands of men, for men too often made poor choices and wrong judgments. But he didn't deny it.

"It can't be true, Connor, please tell me it isn't for I know it's not, it can't be, my heart can't be wrong about you."

"You better go now." He removed his hands and looked to the house; Luisa followed his gaze and met her father's furious expression on the window, knowing too well how compromising their early position had been. Especially to her, engaged with someone else on the other side of the Atlantic, so she did what he told her to, her heart breaking and barely listening as her father commanded her to her room threatening with wild consequences for her actions.

She undressed as Bo was called to her room to help and got inside the covers, Bo's comforting words too far for her to listen. Lonely wasn't the only feeling creping on her heart, fear and disappointment joined it now as she sank into old nightmares, distortions of her most painful memories.


End file.
